so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
