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Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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