It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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