sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
