'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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