I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
