Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I faked an abortion last night.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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