I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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