i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
