I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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