Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
