she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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