I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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