So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
