quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
