Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
