Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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