just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
