i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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