people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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