my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
