My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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