my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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