all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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