Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
