the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
