I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
