just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
