i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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