He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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