Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
