Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
