i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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