you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Can i not drive my cunt home
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
