2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
one two three fourrrrnication!
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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