hotel room ftw
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We are two peas in an std pod
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
