remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
