So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I think my moral compass just broke
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