My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
