I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
