he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
