And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
