She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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