Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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