how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
