i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
