He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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