your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
