i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
