if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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