I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
