Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
