I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
