yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I can text with my tongue
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
