I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
