I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize
