big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize