Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
