Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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