I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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