u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
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