Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
