u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
did i just pee glitter
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
