You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
