how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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