apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
