She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
