i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Why did my mother make you get naked?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
