chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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